Judgment isn’t invited, but it still shows up.
💡 Quick Takeaway
You’re hauling coolers, reapplying sunscreen, untangling floaties, and negotiating snack disputes in 90° heat—and then a voice pipes up: “You don’t look as good as them.”
That voice doesn’t need a floaty. It doesn’t need a mic.
It’s not the truth—it’s just a thought. And not every thought deserves a seat poolside.
Comparison is common when we’re physically taxed, socially exposed, or vulnerable (aka, in a bathing suit, tired, and just trying your best). Add in heat, sun fatigue, and dehydration? You’ve got the perfect storm for inner criticism and distorted self-perception.
🔬 Research & Neuroscience
● Heat and dehydration can heighten negative emotional reactivity and social comparison by stressing the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis (Gaoua, 2010; Ganio et al., 2011).
● Social evaluative threat activates the same brain areas as physical pain—comparison is not just mental, it’s embodied (Eisenberger et al., 2003).
● ACT research shows defusion (i.e., seeing thoughts as passing events) reduces reactivity and improves well-being (Hayes et al., 2006).
APA-style citations:
● Gaoua, N. (2010). Cognitive function in hot environments. Scand J Med Sci Sports, 20(s3), 60–70. Article
● Ganio, M. S., et al. (2011). Mild dehydration impairs cognitive performance and mood of men. Br J Nutr, 106(10), 1535–1543. Article
● Eisenberger, N. I., et al. (2003). Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study. Science, 302(5643), 290–292. Article
● Hayes, S. C., et al. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes and outcomes. Behav Res Ther, 44(1), 1–25. Article
👙 Cultural Reframe
There’s a whole industry banking on you feeling “not enough” in swimwear. But let’s get curious:
That person with the “perfect” body? Maybe they’re not carefree—they’re bracing for the next judgment. Maybe they worked hard to feel safe in their skin. Maybe they’re not thinking about you at all.
And your loved ones?
They’re not checking your abs.
They’re watching you cannonball with joy, float beside them, set up the umbrella, and show up. That’s presence. That’s strength. That’s connection.
If comparison or envy creeps in, try this ACT move:
🎯 Ask, What is this thought pointing to?
Is it a desire for rest, attention, play, embodiment, pleasure, freedom, safety?
Then ask: How can I give myself even a little of that right now—without shrinking or shaming myself or others?
📚 Resources for the Curious
🎧 Podcast - Maintenance Phase – “The Bikini Industrial Complex” (anti-diet, hilarious, research-based)
📖 Book - Bacon, L. (2010). Health at Every Size: The Surprising Truth About Your Weight. BenBella Books.
📄 Tool - Download “Comparison to Compass” Worksheet – Turn envy into values-based action
✨ If You Only Remember One Thing...
Not every thought deserves your attention.
Hydrate. Play. Laugh. You’re already enough—and you’re also allowed to want more.