No New Year Resolutions Required: A Values-Based Check-In
🎇 December 30, 2025
🧊 Why Resolution Culture Burns So Many People Out
January hype often pushes all-or-nothing pledges: miss a day, feel like you “failed,” and motivation tanks. Classic research shows that rigid dieting/exercise vows can backfire—sparking the “what-the-hell” effect and yo-yo cycles (Polivy & Herman, 2002). Resolutions also tend to center weight loss, productivity, and willpower, while downplaying structural realities—like access, oppression, disability, finances, and caregiving demands.
And not everyone flips the calendar on Jan 1. Many communities mark time differently—Lunar New Year, Nowruz, Rosh Hashanah, or no new-year observance at all. You deserve a framework that respects your life, culture, and capacity.
🧭 Values vs. Goals: What Actually Matters to You?
In ACT terms: goals are checkpoints (finish a 5K); values are ongoing directions (care for my body, connect with community) you can walk toward in countless ways (Hayes, Strosahl, & Wilson, 2012).
Name 3–5 values that mattered to you in 2025. Examples: family, justice, creativity, rest, faith, cultural pride, learning, pleasure, community, sobriety, survival.
Yes—survival counts. In a hard year, “I stayed” and “I kept going” are value-consistent wins.
📓 A Gentle Year-End Reflection (No Happy Ending Required)
Use these three prompts—brief, honest, and spin-free:
What hurt? (Name it without fixing.)
What helped, even a little? (People, routines, music, meds, movement, memes.)
What mattered—even if no one saw it? (Caregiving. Therapy. Coming out. Sending money home. Prayer. Rest. Saying no. Showing up once.)
Why this works: acknowledging pain while noticing meaning aligns with psychological flexibility—the capacity linked to better mental health (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010).
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.””
🧪 Turning Values into Tiny Experiments (Not Punishment Plans)
Think experiments, not edicts. Pick one 100% doable action for your next chapter (whenever that starts).
If compassion is a value → “I’ll place a hand on my chest and breathe out slowly for 20 seconds when I feel overwhelmed—once a day.”
If cultural connection is a value → “I’ll cook one family recipe or call an elder this month.”
If community is a value → “I’ll send one ‘thinking of you’ text each Friday.”
If rest is a value → “I’ll dim lights and dock my phone outside the bedroom at least 3 nights this week.”
Make it tiny, tie it to a cue, and consider an if-then plan (implementation intention), which reliably boosts follow-through (Gollwitzer & Sheeran, 2006).
Example: If it’s 9:30 p.m., then I set my phone to charge in the kitchen and turn on the lamp by my bed.
🛑 Closing Permission Slip
You’re allowed to skip resolutions.
No makeover arc required.
Choose one small, kind step aligned with what matters—even if that step is “rest and reassess later.” That’s values-based living.
📚 Resources for the Curious
📚 Books
Rest Is Resistance — Tricia Hersey (2022)
A cultural + nervous-system rebuttal to grind culture; rest as a value.Braiding Sweetgrass — Robin Wall Kimmerer (2013; rising readership)
Indigenous wisdom + science; values of reciprocity, care, place.Quit — Annie Duke (2022)
Strategic quitting as a skill—aligning choices with your values.
🎧 Podcasts
The Lazy Genius (Kendra Adachi)—“Be a genius about what matters; lazy about the rest.” High on practicality.
On Being (Krista Tippett)—Meaning, ritual, and values across faith/no-faith perspectives.
Maintenance Phase (Aubrey Gordon & Michael Hobbes)—Smart, funny takedowns of diet/wellness fads; anti-shame.
📰 Articles / Evidence
Gollwitzer, P. M., & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119.
Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865–878.
Polivy, J., & Herman, C. P. (2002). If at first you don’t succeed: False hopes of self-change. American Psychologist, 57(9), 677–689.
🧠 References
Gollwitzer, P. M., & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69–119.
Harris, R. (2009). ACT made simple: An easy-to-read primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. New Harbinger.
Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865–878.
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. William Morrow.
Polivy, J., & Herman, C. P. (2002). If at first you don’t succeed: False hopes of self-change. American Psychologist, 57(9), 677–689.
Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.