Keeping the Spirit: Generosity Beyond One Story (And Why I Still Love Santa)
December 23, 2025
A mom’s note on truth, love, and giving without strings
✍️ A personal note from me
I’m a mom. I practice Christianity that includes Santa Claus. And I’ve wrestled with letting go of the magic of Christmas—especially the Santa part. Here’s what finally clicked: I was the one making the magic. The storytelling, the secret lists, the late-night assembling on the living room floor, the gift hiding, the 5 a.m. whispers turning into sprints down the stairs. I did it because I love my kids—and, if I’m honest, because I dreaded the disappointed faces if I got it wrong.
So when my eldest asked for the truth, I felt both grief and relief. I realized the “magic” I was protecting wasn’t a single character. It was love practiced quietly, generosity without a scoreboard, and the joy of making a moment for someone else. Santa is the tradition we practice in our home—but the spirit behind it is bigger than any one story.
🌍 Generosity across cultures and faiths (a tiny tour)
Different calendars, different rituals—same heartbeat: we take care of each other.
St. Nicholas / Sinterklaas / Santa — anonymous giving, hospitality, care for children.
La Befana (Italy) — a humble, generous visitor bringing sweets on Epiphany.
Los Reyes Magos (Latin America & Spain) — gifts on January 6; community and sharing.
Saint Lucia (Scandinavia) — bringing light and food in the darkest days.
Ded Moroz & Snegurochka (Eastern Europe) — New Year generosity, more cultural than religious.
Hoteiosho (Japan) — a watchful, kind gift-bringer tied to attentiveness.
Tzedakah (Judaism) — justice-through-giving as ethical duty.
Zakat & Sadaqah (Islam) — obligatory and voluntary charity with dignity.
Seva / Langar (Sikhism) — service and a free community kitchen for all.
Dāna (Buddhist/Hindu traditions) — everyday generosity: food, time, compassion.
Kwanzaa — principles like Ujima (collective work) and Ujamaa (cooperative economics).
🎁 Why giving feels good (and doesn’t need a bow)
Studies show prosocial giving—time, attention, or money offered to help—boosts well-being across cultures (Dunn, Aknin, & Norton, 2008; Aknin et al., 2013). It doesn’t need to be grand: a pot of soup, ten minutes of listening, five dollars to mutual aid. From an ACT lens, generosity is a value—a direction you can move toward many ways, especially on imperfect days (Hayes, Strosahl, & Wilson, 2012).
🧭 Small, repeatable generosity
Values are directions. Choose one small step and repeat it:
Time: read a story, sit with a neighbor, play a board game.
Attention: write a postcard, send a voice memo, ask “How are you really?”
Help: cook double and share, offer a ride, watch a friend’s kids.
Money (any amount): mutual aid, pantry, tip jar for service workers.
Space: let someone go first, offer a seat, give the last cookie.
Repair: say a small “I’m sorry,” say a specific “thank you.”
When the “not enough” thought pops up, try: “I’m noticing I’m having the thought that my gift isn’t good enough.” Then take the next caring action anyway.
🧰 Generosity Menu
At home: leave a kind note • do a chore unasked • make someone’s favorite snack.
School/work: include the new person • share supplies • send a “you did great” message.
Community: pantry drop • warm-gear donation • shovel a walkway or water plants.
Secret giving: porch-drop cookies • hide a compliment in a library book • tape a dollar with a kind note at the bus stop.
Restorative giving: forgive a small slight • offer someone the benefit of the doubt • let yourself rest (generosity to you counts).
🧷 Untrendy but True
I don’t have to let go of the magic—I can name it.
It was never only about Santa. It was love in action. And that’s a tradition I want my kids (and me) to practice long after the wrapping paper is gone.
📚 Resources for the Curious
Books
Dunn, E., Aknin, L., & Norton, M. (2019). Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending (rev. ed.). Simon & Schuster.
The Book of Joy — Desmond Tutu & the Dalai Lama • Joy, compassion, and service across faiths.
Kimmerer, R. W. (2013). Braiding Sweetgrass. Milkweed.
Hersey, T. (2022). Rest Is Resistance. Little, Brown.
Podcasts
On Being (Krista Tippett) — meaning, ritual, and service across faith/no-faith traditions.
Good Ancestor Podcast (Layla F. Saad) — generosity, repair, and community care.
Brown Ambition — values-aligned money and mutual aid for families and communities.
🧠 References
Aknin, L. B., Barrington-Leigh, C. P., Dunn, E. W., Helliwell, J. F., Burns, J., Biswas-Diener, R., … Norton, M. I. (2013). Prosocial spending and well-being: Cross-cultural evidence for a psychological universal. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 104(4), 635–652.
Dunn, E. W., Aknin, L. B., & Norton, M. I. (2008). Spending money on others promotes happiness. Science, 319(5870), 1687–1688.
Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.